hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
