he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
