I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
