We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
