well I can't set my house on fire every night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
