Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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