so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
