What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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