Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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