You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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