By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
