Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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