I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
