Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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