You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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