I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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