Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
