Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
