Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
