you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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