oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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