Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
please come you make the beer taste better
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
