I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
