I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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