I think I just saw someone hide a body.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
