so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
