I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
