You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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