So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
