I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
