Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
