You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
