quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I look better un-naked...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
