So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
