Don't you send me to vm
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
