thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I would ride that face into the sunset
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
