Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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