Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
