all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
