GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
