so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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