Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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