her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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