"it" just moved
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
