Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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