Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
