Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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