I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
