So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
