i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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