We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
did i just pee glitter
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
